Happy 2nd Birthday, Jedidiah!!

Our youngest son is TWO today!!  We are so excited to get to spend Jedidiah's birthday with him!  We have great photos of him on his first birthday from his foster home, but nothing compares with getting to squeeze and hug and kiss him and wish him a happy 2nd birthday!

I have to say, with all of the joy it brings to celebrate his birthday with him, there is also a very heavy feeling in my heart.  Today is the one day in Jed's life that his birth mother and I share.  She knows July 18th...she knows she gave birth to a precious baby boy 2 years ago today.  She knows all the details of that day.  I know none.  She knows what it was like to hold him as a newly born baby.  I do not.  She knows what it was like to look into his big brown eyes as he opened them for the first time.  I do not.  She knows what it was like to wrap him in a blanket and feel his soft newborn face against hers.  I do not.  She also knows what it was like to hold him for the last time.  I do not.  She knows what it was like to kiss him for the last time.  I do not.  She knows what it was like to give up her birth child on the very day he was born.  I do not.  But from that very devastating and unimaginable moment, we share a bond that will forever link our hearts...the miracle of this little boy's life.  I know what it is like to hold this little guy, to wrap my arms around him, to hug and kiss him, to laugh with him, play with him, read to him, to wipe his tears away, to rock him to sleep each night.  I know what it is like to be his mama and if I could talk to her, especially today, I would tell her that God has had his hand on Jedidiah's precious life, that he has a forever family that loves him so much.  May God, on this very day, give you, his birth mother, a deep peace in your heart that he is safe...he is cared for...he is loved and cherished.

(Okay, I am way too emotional to go on.  I will try and get it together to keep writing!)

I am back.  :)  So for a little update...today is our 101st day with Jedidiah.  I really cannot believe it!  It is hard for me to figure out what to say about the 70+ days since I last blogged.  So many great moments, and some tough ones mixed in there, but if I had to choose a word to describe where we are today, after 101 days, I would have to say 'comfortable.'  Each day we are more and more comfortable as a family of 7.  Each day we get to know Jed a little better and he gets to know us and that brings comfort.  Each day we get a little more comfortable with all the change and each day we fight that change less.  Each day we get a little more comfortable with the 'new normal.'  It is amazing how each day I wake up and I see us one more step further along in this transition.  Sometimes it seems like such a long road we are on...bonding, transitioning, ultimately attaching to one another.  But I do wake up every day and literally feel the progress forward and it is exciting and encouraging.

We took the advice of our post-adoption counselors and really hibernated as a family until mid-June.  That time together spent focusing just on each other and our family was priceless.  It really helped in the bonding process.  We have ventured out more and more since then with Jedidiah.  Sometimes it goes well and we venture out more and sometimes it doesn't go well, and we pull back in.  I am sure that back and forth will continue for a while, but it is all part of the bonding and now attachment process.

Jedidiah is the sweetest little guy!  He is full of energy.  From the minute he wakes up, he wants to explore his world and take in everything he can.  He loves his brothers and sisters a ton and cannot get enough of them each day! It is cute to see him interact differently with each one of them.  Ella he really trusts, he knows she will protect him if he needs it.  He loves to read books with her, take walks and explore with her.  Jonah is the consummate big brother...he is Jed's huge wrestling partner and Jonah takes him to jump on the trampoline multiple times a day!  Elijah does all the boy things with Jed...plays trucks and cars with him, battles him with swords and has nerf gun wars with him.  And Lila is his little mother...she makes sure he is safe all the time.  She hugs and kisses him every chance she gets. They like to swing together on our playset, and she will push him around on his ride-on toys for what seems like hours!  I just love watching them all together!

Jedidiah gets so excited when he sees ba-ba's red truck come home each night.  He loves his daddy! He runs to the door and does his ah-ah sound that he does when he gets excited (if you spend any time with him, you will hear this sound when he sees construction equipment, motorcycles, tractors, any animal, especially dogs, and his daddy...it is beyond cute!).

(All photos in this post are by Jodi Petersen at J Leigh Pix)

And he still has a sweet spot for his mama, which I adore. :)

If I was to tell you what has been the hardest part of the last 100 days, I think it would definitely be sleep, or the lack of it.  Jed has just not been able to sleep well - not at night nor at naps.  It has definitely been like being back in the newborn stage when getting sleep is very unpredictable.  We have started this week to work on some sleep strategies, so hopefully we can turn a corner in this area.  Being tired makes everything seem harder, so getting the sleep thing to a better place is our number one goal right now.

For all of you wondering how it has been going, I hope I have been able to share a little about life in this quick update.
  
Beyond anything, as we embark on this special day, and we get ready to celebrate Jed's 2nd birthday with him, I am overwhelmed with the huge blessing this little guy has been in our lives.  He has taught us over and over what God's unconditional love is really like and we are beyond grateful!  HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY JEDIDIAH WEN LIANG GUNNINK!!

Home: The First 12 Days

God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. (Ephesians 1:5 NLT)

We appreciate so many of you wanting to check in with us and see how everything is going.  Although we have wanted to write this blog for a while now, we simply have not found the time to sit down and even start processing the last 12 days.  As we start to now, it feels really good just to sit and reflect.  So much has happened, it will be hard to do it justice, but we will try.

Let's begin with the 13 hour flight home on Saturday, April 19th.  THANK YOU FOR PRAYING!  The flight went way better than we expected.  Other adoptive parents suggested we pay for a seat for him, and we are so glad we took that advice.  We had three seats to ourselves, which gave Jedidiah some space to move around in.  He was awake and taking it all in for the first 2 hours, and then fell fast asleep for 7 hours!!  We could not believe it!  He laid in between us and barely moved around.  I must admit, it was heavenly!  He woke up, ate, walked around with Brad, played with his toys for 3 hours and then slept again the last hour of the flight.  Amazing!

And in O'Hare Airport, God totally had His hand on us.  We landed at 4pm (25 minutes early!) and had to get across the airport to get our Madison flight, which was boarding at 5:35pm.  What customs officials told us when we got off our Beijing flight was going to take 2 1/2 hours to get through, took us 1 hour!  It was crazy!  At each stop, customs workers put our papers to the front of the line (we didn't ask them to, they just kept doing it).  We breezed through customs, and made our Madison flight with enough time for me to change Jedidiah's diaper and for Brad to purchase a Diet Mountain Dew!  Yay on both accounts!  :)

The newest US Citizen!

We were greeted at the Madison airport by nearly 25 friends and family members.  It was a wonderful  'Welcome Home' for Jedidiah!  It was so great to see everyone, and be home, despite being exhausted by the time change and travel.  We could not get to our four other kids fast enough to hug and kiss them!  And it was so fun for them to have this 'party' at the airport!  We were so thankful for the outpouring of support!

Life at Home
It is a busy place over here!  We had forgotten what it was like to have a 2 year old in the house, not to mention one who had his days and nights mixed up!  The jet lag was pretty tough the first week.  When Jedidiah wanted to be up, like between midnight and 3am, all Brad and I wanted to do was sleep.  But, the last two nights Jedidiah has slept through the night, so yay!  We are thinking the jet lag is mostly behind us!

It was so wonderful to be home for Easter!  We spent the day together, just the 7 of us.  The kids were completely enthralled with Jedidiah, as he was with them!  The love continues, and it is just so fun to see them all together!

 These shirts say big sister, big brother, and little brother.

What is going well:
His Siblings - We are in 'hibernation mode,' which means we are trying to spend most of our time just the 7 of us.  It is a great way to build the bonding and lessen his insecurities.  Ella, Jonah, Elijah, and Lila have been SO GREAT with him!  They love playing with him and dote over him constantly.  I am sure, at some point soon, this will wear off, but we are enjoying it right now!

Bonding - It is amazing to see him bonding with all of us.  He has already started to bond in different ways to each of us, which shows how real and authentic it is.  We have also seen him shedding more real tears - not just inconsolable meltdowns - but tears when he is tired or hurt or mad about a particular thing, which is so good.  Those tears show he is starting to feel more comfortable with us and letting us know how he is feeling.  He is definitely a 'mama's boy', which I love.  We continue to keep clear roles to enable bonding.  Brad and I are the parents, so we are the primary caretakers and meet all of his 'needs' - feeding him, changing his diapers, bathing him, dressing him, and putting him to sleep.  The kids play with him and read to him (Brad and I do these things, too, but the kids just stick to these roles).  It is working wonderfully.  It is hard at times for the kids to not do the other things, but they know it is best, and soon enough they will get to engage with him in all areas.  We do tell them there will come a day when they won't want to change another diaper or watch him when we go out...they don't believe us!

 Another thing that is going well is Jedidiah is being much more affectionate with hugs and kisses.  He will give me 'squeeze tights' all the time and gives the kids kisses non-stop sometimes.  They love it!

Going up high - something only Brad can do with him!

Eating - He loves food and has been willing to try all types of things - from meat to vegetables (which he would not touch when we were in China), to fruit and Grandma's cookies. :)  In China, he really would only eat noodles and bananas, so we are beyond thrilled that he has become such a good eater!

Sleeping - Nighttime has finally turned a corner.  Hopefully, he will continue this trend of sleeping through the night!

The Dog - He loves our dog, Tabbie!  He follows her around all the time.  She seeks shelter in her crate from time to time, but she is so good with him!

Medical Reports - He has been to see our pediatrician and also to UW Children's Hospital's Cleft and Craniofacial Anomalies Clinic.  Our pediatrician, Dr. Yu, thought he was doing great.  He did not think he was developmentally behind for his age.  That is a huge praise because many orphans suffer delays just because of the lack of care.  New Hope Foster Home does an amazing job caring for their children!  At UW Hospital he saw 6 doctors and went through a bunch of testing.  We just found out today that he passed with flying colors - we were most concerned about his hearing, but all the tests came back normal (at least in one ear...they can only be sure of normal hearing in one at this age).  We will go back in October to check his speech - which can be impaired because of his palette.  And he will need at least 3 more surgeries to repair things related to his cleft lip and palette, but the first one will not be until he is 4 or 5 years old.  We are glad we have some time before a surgery.

Things that are challenging:
His strong will - Couple that with being a nearly 2 year old, and he can be beyond determined at times.  He does a ton of testing the limits, and we do a ton of redirecting!

Getting a routine down - It is hard for me, because I like routine, but it is just not possible yet to be on a schedule.  His napping during the day is not going well, but we will get there.  We are trying to figure out how to fit all of our school in during the day.  Some days go better than others, but it is going to take a while.  And I am finding it easier to be good with that.  Acclimating Jedidiah to this new life is much more important right now than any consistent routine!

Balance - It is definitely a challenge balancing everyone's needs and figuring out how to do life in the midst of the kids' activities.

But each day we experience break throughs...we talk more, check in more with each other, have longer stints of sleep, have meltdowns that don't last as long or where Jedidiah asks for consoling sooner and sooner.  It is so awesome to see so much progress already!

It is hard to describe all that has happened in the Gunnink house these last 12 days since returning from China.  I can say for sure that our hearts have been touched and opened in a way we have not felt before.  To have the adoption process completed, to be home, with Jedidiah as the newest member of our family is the BEST feeling in the world!  To be at this place all together is still almost surreal at times.

I love being honest about what the last 12 days have been, because I can honestly say, I wouldn't trade any of these moments.  I already see God growing us and teaching us.  It can be humbling, but so good for each of us.  I pray every day that God will help me be the mom that Jedidiah needs me to be for him right now, that Brad will be the dad he needs, that God will give us insights into the hearts of each of our other four kids in a way only He can so we don't miss anything they need right now in this transition.  We are very inward focused...on becoming a healthy family of seven.  No other priorities right now.  It feels good.

Thanks for being on this journey with us!

Jedidiah loves to help the other kids with their chores.  It is very cute!

New Hope Foster Home, The Great Wall, & Getting to Know Jedidiah

April 18

NEW HOPE FOSTER HOME - BEIJING

O lord, do good to those who are good, whose hearts are in tune with you. (Psalms 125:4 NLT)

We got the greatest privilege today!  We spent a couple of hours this morning at New Hope, the medical needs foster home that Jedidiah has lived at since February 4, 2013...the last 14 months of his life.  He came there when he was 6 1/2 months old to get his cleft palette repair and ear tubes put in.  We found out today the surgeons who performed his surgery were from a visiting medical team from Pennsylvania.  We had no idea!

New Hope is an amazing place!  As soon as we walked through the front door,  the love and joy that fill every crevice bombarded us as well.  The staff were so happy to greet us and to see Wen Liang (Jedidiah). Two little boys came out to meet us.  They wanted us to pick them up...it was easy to do that and to love on them.  Both of them were super affectionate and completely adorable!  Immediately someone got his nanny, one of the three women that took care of him for the last 14 months.  She was so sweet and Jedidiah went right to her.  They had prepared us ahead of time that he would most likely do this.  He was very attached to these three women who have cared for him.  We, along with our 4 kids at home, have prayed every day during the entire adoption process that the child God had for us was being loved.  When Jedidiah reached out to her in pure love, I felt like I was witnessing our answer to those many, many prayers.  It was a beautiful moment for me and I was excited to be able to share with Ella, Jonah, Elijah, and Lila how incredible it was to see him with her.

Mike Shook, who is Robin Hill's assistant, one of the directors at New Hope, hosted us and showed us around the foster home.  Mike was an awesome host to us!  Such a great guy!  (Before continuing, we have a huge 'God-story' about the Hills (Joyce Hill, Robin's wife is the co-director with him).  This couple, and their faithfulness to the call God put on their lives to rescue orphans in China in need of medical care, played a huge role in our adoption journey.  If you want to hear more about that story, please see Adoption Story Part 2 on this blog.  In January 2012, 10 months before we even started the adoption process, I prayed God would give us a child from New Hope. To be experiencing God's goodness, knowing how He answered that prayer and to be at New Hope today was beyond special for us!)  We saw the rooms where Jedidiah spent most of his time.  In the playroom, it was fun to see him play with his nanny.  We met the other little girl who Jedidiah's nanny took care of (each nanny has 2 kids they are responsible for).  She is a cutey!  We met his preschool teacher, Jenni.  Jenni is from Louisiana, so it was easy, obviously, to communicate with her.  It was fun hearing about Jedidiah from her perspective.  She confirmed some of the character traits we have seen in him and told us some new things about him that we haven't discovered yet.

The last thing we did at New Hope was get a scrapbook of Jedidiah that they made for him.  It chronicles all of his 14 months there, which is the majority of his life.  A COMPLETELY PRICELESS gift!  There are pictures in there of him, special milestones, like his 1st birthday party,  craft projects he completed, and notes that different caretakers wrote to him - New Hope has a lot of visiting helpers that come in for a couple of weeks or so and spend time with the children and help in the preschool.  Those notes are really precious.  Actually, the whole scrapbook is!  Something we NEVER expected to receive!  

We were beyond blessed today to get to spend time with Jedidiah at New Hope meeting all of these very wonderful people who have cared for him until we could bring him home.  God is here in China...we felt Him clearly today in this very precious place with these very precious people who are His hands and feet to many beautiful orphans in China!

Jedidiah's Nanny

The room he ate his meals in

All the strollers are parked just inside the door they take to all the fun outdoor toys

Jedidiah in his crib

The sweet little girl who was his buddy

The sinks where he took baths

His playroom, the bunny room

Brad and I with Jenni, his preschool teacher

A really special picture for me with his nanny

Jedidiah having fun in the playroom

The preschool room

Brad and I with Mike Shook

Jedidiah with Jenni, his preschool teacher

One of the outdoor playgrounds

The card above his bedroom door...priceless...it says it all!

In front of New Hope

Some pages from his scrapbook

THE GREAT WALL

What can I say about this extraordinary structure?!  It was completely breathtaking, as you would imagine!  We were at the Mutianyu section, which was constructed during the Ming Dynasty over 600 years ago.  We rode up on a chair lift and we came down on a toboggan slide...super fun!  Here are our photos of the Great Wall experience:

A fruit stand by the Great Wall

A street of little shops before the Great Wall

Brad and Jedidiah ready to get on the chair lift

Breathtaking views from the chair lift

At the Great Wall (a little tough to see in the background because of the mountain mist)

A great view of the Wall

One of my FAVORITE photos of father and son!

Brad sitting on top of one of the watchtowers

Jedidiah exploring the Great Wall

The toboggan slide!

After the Great Wall, we had lunch at a 'western' restaurant.  It is owned by Americans and they make all of their food on site.  It was very delicious and a really cute restaurant.  AND we could see the Great Wall from our table!

The Schoolhouse Restaurant

Brad loving his burger and fries!

Our waitress coloring with Jedidiah

The courtyard of the restaurant

GETTING TO KNOW JEDIDIAH

We found out right away that Jedidiah is very bright.  He is very inquisitive, always trying to figure out how things work.  He already learned some sign language at New Hope and uses it pretty consistently.  He is diligent about trying to learn the signs we are teaching him.  He can initially be rather shy with a new person, but he comes out of his shell pretty quickly.  He is an active little boy who is on the move!  He doesn't have a lot of time for cuddling or kisses for sure, but he is starting to warm up to the idea of these things!  

Jedidiah loves his picture book of his family

Look who found ba-ba's shoes

We have discovered his strong will.  It was funny...today at New Hope they confirmed that he is just not acting out to us and the newness of the situation - he had a strong will there as well.  He has thrown several major fits with us, where he arches his back while screaming and is fairly inconsolable...one of these times took place for 45 minutes on the 3 hour airplane ride from Guangzhou to Beijing!  

So, anytime Jedidiah has something and he thinks you might take it from him, he puts it on his head. He does this with lots of things, from toys, to bottles, to lotion...you name it, he puts it on his head.  We are thinking this was the way he kept from sharing at the foster home. 

Despite these tough times, he has melted our hearts.  He is often ready with a smile, a big belly laugh when we tickle him,  loves playing peek-a-boo and hide-n-seek, and dances any time he hears music...He is super adorable! 

We will be home for Easter!!

We do want to ask for prayer for our flight home tomorrow - Saturday.  It is a 13 hour flight.  We leave Beijing at 4:50pm in the afternoon, which is 3:50am Sun Prairie time.  We get into Chicago around 4:30pm Saturday and then quickly have to get through customs to make our 6pm flight from Chicago to Madison.  We are scheduled to get into Madison at 6:52pm on Saturday night.

PLEASE PRAY:

• Jedidiah will have a peaceful flight
• Brad and I will have wisdom in dealing with anything that happens
• Great endurance for all of us on such a long flight
• Our jet lag as we return and get back into life
• Our family as we all meet one another and begin the transition of welcoming this new brother into our hearts and lives

THANK YOU SO MUCH for following our journey with Jedidiah in China.  It has been so special for us to write these posts and share these amazing two weeks with all of you!  We will write some more from home in the next couple of weeks, but we are signing off from China.

“ ‘ “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” ’ (Numbers 6:24-26 NIV)