In Brad's words...
Today was a special day for our family. The final step in adopting Jed took place today at the Dane County Courthouse. He is a Gunnink forever! We are a forever family! Over the last couple of days I have been reflecting about how much Jed has meant to our family and how adoption has changed our lives. I felt the need to write down some of my journey. I pray my story will encourage you to consider the possibilities.
It has been almost two years since Jed has joined our family. The journey has been long and not without trials even to this point. However, adding Jed to our family has been one of the best adventures of our lives and we would not trade it for anything!
Our journey started years ago. God was patient with us and brought us to our calling of adoption over a period of time. I am not sure if this period of time was longer than God intended because we fought it or if that was part of His plan from the beginning. From the world’s perspective, we were not what I would call obvious candidates to adopt for several reasons. First of all, we were married later in life and God had already blessed us with four biological kids. Kind of in rapid fire – 4 kids in 4 years. Life was good, but it was crazy. We saw our plate as pretty full already. Also, when God started moving in our lives, bringing us to consider adoption, we were already in our mid 40’s with our kids ranging from ages six to ten. They were all close in age, all maturing and becoming more and more independent. We had graduated from the bottles and the diapers, not a stage we were sad to leave. Our kids were bigger now, involved in lots of activities and sports. And financially, of course, we saw barriers; we were a single income family who lived in the fast paced world around Madison, Wisconsin. We were making it, but we didn't have a ton of extra funds hanging around. So, we could come up with quite a few reasons why adoption wasn't for us, but God’s plans are perfect and ours are not.
God started stirring in my wife, Edel, before calling me to adoption. Again I am not sure if this is because she was more open to God’s call than I was or because that is where it needed to start. My journey was completely independent of Edel’s and later our daughter Ella’s stirrings, and really started when Edel and I went to Haiti in January of 2011 on a mission trip. While in Haiti, we were holding children at an orphanage and I just said to my wife, “Let’s just take one of these kids home!” Edel could not believe what she was hearing and so started God opening my heart to adoption. It made no sense. It would cost money we didn’t have. It would take filling out countless forms and doing a home study. It would change the dynamics in our household. It might even bring us back to having diapers in our house. What were we thinking?! At that point for me, it was becoming more about trusting in God’s plan than having the answers! It was about surrendering my will and plan for my life to God’s will and plan for my life! I can tell you, I was hesitant, confused, and not sure what God was up to, but I can also say with confidence that God’s plan was better than all the worries swirling around in my mind!
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
Later in 2011, God was working in our oldest daughter, Ella and moving her heart toward adoption. After a concert in the fall of 2011 where adoption was highlighted, she brought it up to my wife that she thought we should adopt. She said she was going to start praying about adoption for our family. God’s hands were moving hearts at the right time for all involved in our family!
So after our mission trip experience and God stirring in Edel and Ella’s lives, we were sitting in church and God spoke to me loud and clear. We were listening to a message by Andy Stanley, and his whole theme was examples of doing for one what you wish you could do for many. His message built by challenging us to invest deep and long, to rise to a higher calling than just giving money to a cause. Not that supporting God’s work is bad, but he talked about seeing the rewards of long term investments in people. This is when I completely surrendered to God’s call for us to adopt. Again from the world’s perspective, we were nuts. “Why adopt - you have four healthy kids already?” “You are too old to adopt (Jedidiah will not turn 18 until I am 65!).” “When will you ever be able to retire if you add another young child?” Will we be able to retire early, probably not, but that is not what really living is all about! Really living is stepping out in faith and doing what God has called us to do. Really living is having a 3 year old little boy crawl up into my lap after a long day of work and chasing kids around to sports activities, and him giving me a big hug and getting to read a Pooh book to him. Really living is getting to pray with him as he thanks God for his brothers, sisters and his mom and dad in his broken newly discovered speech from his cleft palate repair! Seeing this little boy have a hope and a future far outweighs the prospects of a house on a lake and early retirement!
What if the Church and families all over this country made room for one more child in their house and extended their child-rearing season by a few more years to welcome one or two more kids into their family? Now that would be really living and loving like Jesus did! What I don’t understand is families around us who are incredibly blessed with time and resources, they have a big house with room to go deep and long as Andy Stanley said by making the difference in one child’s life…a difference like only a mother or father could…yet so many are not willing to say yes, yes God, I will.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27 NIV
If you are one of those people who may have room, not only in your house, but in your heart...if you are one of those people whose kids are at a more independent stage, maybe God is calling you to “do for one child what you wish you could do for many!”
I am pretty sure at the end of my days, I will not look back and regret bringing Jed into our family, but there are many people who may look back on life and wish they had done more! If you are blessed in so many ways by God, can I ask you to consider adopting a child? Ask God and seek His will. Don’t look at your 401K or how soon your kids will be out of the house! Think about the legacy of doing something outside of your comfort zone for a child who needs a family! Imagine having a little boy or girl crawl up in your lap again and give you a big hug! Imagine the difference you could make in that one child’s life!
If you ever want to talk about adoption, definitely get in touch with me!
